 Raise your hand if you like to watch TV. I assume that most of you didn’t actually raise your hand, but I do think that in the back of your minds you were thinking, “Yeah I love TV!”
Whether it’s soap operas like All My Children, comedies like The Office, thrillers like Lost, or shitty reality shows like The Real World, most people have at least one show that they love to watch and then have enthusiastic conversations about later on.
There are a ton of shows on TV. A ton. And for the most part, they are all unique in their own way. With the exception of CSI and its 50 spinoffs, and Law and Order and its wannabes, and Cops and its slightly-different variations that all turn out to be police officers arresting naked people living in trailer parks, TV has a great variety of programs to choose from.
One commonality among TV programs is the protagonist. All shows have that one awesome character who makes you laugh, cry, gasp, wonder, and, on rare occasions, ejaculate in blissful glory. The purpose of this article is to point out the greatest “awesome character” of them all.
It’s a tough decision, picking between Peter from Family Guy, Dwight from The Office, or Monk from Monk. If you go back a little bit, Molder from the X-Files was pretty tight. So was Goku of Dragonball Z. But what about Popeye? And Dr. Cox from Scrubs? And Homer Simpson? Damn, Rachael from Friends is sick too. In reality, this whole paragraph is unnecessary because the greatest character on TV is Jack Bauer of 24.
Don’t even try to say I’m wrong, because I’m right. Jack Bauer kicks ass. His terrorist kill count is like 500. But Jack Bauer’s greatness is larger than his pile of dead Al-Qaeda. He makes the whole show work. The way he talks, the way he moves, the way he shoots terrorists in the face, the way he gets captured by China and then gets away from China… everything about him says BAMF. Comparable to Hulk Hogan of the old WWF days, Jack is bigger than the show itself. Comparable to Ocean in Ocean’s 11, he is always in control and always has the answer. He’s an ace at everything, and that’s why TheCollegeMan.com declares him the greatest character on TV.
And for all of you Lost fans who say that 24 is dumb because it’s impossible for all that stuff to happen in one 24 hour period, you should take a look in the mirror and confess that your show is about a magical invisible island that shifts through time and cures paraplegics. If JB was on that island, he’d figure out what the hell was going on, kill that creepy dude with the big eyes, unite the Bantu tribes, and diffuse a bomb in no more than 18 hours, leaving 6 hours of quality terrorist-hunting time to spare.
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