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 With less than two weeks left in the regular season, it’s that time of the year where great baseball minds step in to make their play-off predictions.
As the greatest mind of all, I will not be making any predictions. Instead I’m going to tell you what will, with 100% accuracy, happen. Some may doubt me as I am not writing for the LA Times or the New York Times, but instead the up-and-coming TheCollegeMan.com. However, I can assure you these predictions; nay guarantees are as certain as USC’s thrashing of Ohio State. So here is the inevitable end to this baseball season. *Disclaimer: As a crazy, obsessed Angels fan I can promise you there will be no bias in the following paragraphs.* ALDS: Red Sox vs Twins: Well to begin, the Twins will defeat the White Sox in the race for the Central because the White Sox suck. Maybe if MVP candidate Carlos Quentin hadn’t gone and broken three bones in his hand after hitting it against his bat because he was whining, the White Sox would have a chance. As the pathetic understudies to the Cubs, they will go back to obscurity and lose to the Twins. As for the series: The Twins win because everybody is tired of the Sox. Angels vs Rays: I love the Rays, but they aren’t beating my Angels. Why? Because I couldn’t stand to lose in the first round again. Yes I couldn’t stand losing because I am a part of the Angels. They are my team. NLDS: Cubs vs Dodgers: After eventually ending the year with the best record in the NL, the Cubs would play the Wild Card team, but *spoiler* the Brewers are winning the Wild Card. And everybody knows two teams from the same division can not play each other in the first round. As for the series, the NL West is a joke, and I pity the Cubs and the guy I used to work with that loves the Cubs. Cubs win. Brewers vs Phillies: The Mets will collapse again and the Phillies will take the East. Astros cool down and the Cards suck so the Brewers take the Wild Card. I’m torn because I like both teams. Sabathia needs some more play-off experience for when he joins the Angels next year, so the Brewers win. ALCS: Angels vs Twins: The Twins and their lowly $60 million team salary stand no chance against my $130 million Angels. My team advances, ‘nough said. NLCS: Cubs vs Brewers: The Cubs always love to give their fans false senses of hope so they will beat the Brewers. Plus, they actually are a better team. World Series: Angels vs Cubs: Wouldn’t it be absolutely splendid if the Cubs won the World Series on the 100th Anniversary of their last meaningful season? I wonder if anyone is still alive from the last time the Cubs actually won something. With that said and with no bias, the Angels win the World Series!!!!! Why? Because everybody loves to laugh at others misery and no group of people suffer more than Cubs fans. Here’s to another 100 years of embarrassment and let down for Cubs fans. Poor Tim Dierkes. Damn that sheep. |