I would like to take a moment to scold the citizens of the world for making Detroit out to be such an unwholesome city.

One with any semblance of intelligence would easily see the undeniable superiority of the Motor City. Take a look at the facts.
We are a city populated with real go-getters. Detroit is a land of opportunity. There is no other place quite like the D where you can really pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Take Detroit’s white knight, Eminem. Growing up on the tough streets of Detroit taught our golden boy how to handle the world. He learned life’s lessons the hard way, rapping about drugs, violence, and sex on street corners. It was only because of Detroit’s unique environment that he was able to cultivate the true artist within. Today, he raps about drugs, violence, and sex in recording studios. Thank you Detroit.

The good people of Detroit know a thing or two about loyalty. We are a populous that stands behind its own. When election for mayor of Detroit rolled around our shining and intelligent city could have backed some outsider; an average Joe. But no. Our city deserved better, she would never settle for “average.” Putting an outstanding individual like Kwame Kilpatrick in office was the best thing that could have happened to this city. A “true Detroiter,” Kwame will not rest until this city gets what it deserves. Now that’s what I call commitment to excellence. Sure, he may have to wear a tether, but that only demonstrates his unwavering ambition. Someone average would have resigned. But not Kwame. And the fact that he remains in office despite all of the alleged “crimes” against him, is a testament to the loyalty of Detroit to its people.

Detroit is a city filled with citizens so intense in their beliefs that no other town can compare to our fiercely domineering demeanor. Our unwavering level of commitment to our high standards makes us, to put it quite frankly, pretty hard-core. So yes world, if being hard-core means being unwholesome, we are the least wholesome of all, and proud of it. So welcome world! Welcome to Detroit!