I just wanted to write you this letter to thank you for finally coming out of the closet.

Yes, for a long time you guys had tried to hide your true persuasion, preferring celibacy. But finally you have taken up the courage to admit the truth; you are officially liberally biased. Bias. Bias. Liberal BIAS. Doesn’t it feel good to finally have that off your chest? So many lattes and covert competitions fought to decide who can quote Karl Marx accurately while chugging liquefied sushi in your sandals made from recycled bananas. Well, now you, the New York Times op-ed staff, can do that openly, honestly. And you really should thank John McCain for forcing your hand in the matter. Without his campaign’s foresight, or brinkmanship really, you could have still played the “we speak our own mind card” for at least another ten years. But, alas, the days of your secret political affiliation are now officially over. Of course, you did unfortunately cower behind yet another transparent ruse when denying McCain’s op-ed piece. Something about not any new information included in its contents. But yet you published Obama’s piece. Obama? I still have indigestion from all that change he has jammed down my throat since his epic win in Iowa. I need two bottles of Pepto Bismol a day just to keep all that change in my stomach. If you were a real newspaper you would cover both sides of the story. Obama versus McCain. Not Obama versus some random identity who is never allowed to speak his mind. This is America, the New York Times. America. Oh, and thank you for supporting censorship. As a bastion of liberalism that apparently frequents in censoring opposing voices you really are beginning to look hypocritical. But again, thank you for your honesty in the matter of bias. You were caught red-handed, or should I say blue-handed?

Cordially,

Kent