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 -He would find that Ontario is actually in District 4, making Wayne Gretzky eligible to play for the Ducks.
-Goldberg would head the Secret Service, but be involved in a nasty bribery scandal with a Twinkie lobbyist. He would be replaced with the much more agile Julie “The Cat” Gaffney. -Secretary of State and prepster douche Adam Banks would be publically reprimanded for his “cake-eating” ways. However, Bombay and his supporters would eventually pardon him. -Although demonstrating a shit-ton of heart, Charlie Conway would still fail miserably as Vice President. Bombay would strip him of the vice presidency, get an incredible BJ from Conway’s mom, and then suddenly reinstate him as Poet Laureate. -The Bash Brothers would eliminate terrorism. And sleeves. -The economy would enter a horrid recession, crushing Bombay’s approval ratings. Rogue economist Kenan Thompson would energize the economy with his knuckleball policies. -All NHL players would be forced to learn the triple-deke and employ it in every shootout. |