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 - Entire country required to do up-downs until whiny citizen is no longer hungry and poor. - Foreign Policy: “I don’t scratch my head unless it itches and I don’t dance unless I hear some music; I will not be intimidated.” - After every victory by American troops, President Boone personally delivers a banana to the enemy country’s leader. - The same goes for America’s Olympic squads. - All domestic crises attributed to the fact that Gerry Bertier is paralyzed from the waist down. Cannot replace a Gerry Bertier. - Every NFL team forced to adopt the split veer. America now runs “six plays. Like Novocain – give em time, they always work.” - Petey Jones. Secretary of State. THE Secretary of State , y’all. However, he continues to ride the bench until he learns about teamwork. - When cornered, American troops run Fake 23 Blast with a Backside Georgia Reverse. Like their lives depended on it. - A law abolishing water on the grounds that it “is for cowards”, “makes you weak”, and “is for washing blood off that uniform” fails by small margins in both the House and the Senate. |