Parties are to college as Reagan is to the Marijuana Tax Act of 1937: I failed the analogies portion of the SAT’s. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that parties are a huge part of college. You’ll likely be spending most of your weekends at one party or another, and if you’re really alcoholic, even some weekdays will be devoted to this most sacred of practices. Nevertheless, there’s more to the college experience than just parties; I don’t care what your frat roommate tells you, there IS a such thing as class, and you’ll flunk out if you don’t go every once in a while.

           
If parties are such a huge part of the college experience, finding the right type of party is crucial. Listen closely freshmen, because the following tidbit will save you years of embarrassment: the best parties aren’t huge ragers, or any kind of fraternity/sorority bullshit, but small gatherings in your dorm or apartment.

           
It takes a real man to admit that, but it’s absolutely true. Don’t think I haven’t been there myself; when you’re in class Monday morning, nothing sounds cooler than saying to a friend, “yeah, I was at this huge party Saturday night. There were like 300 people there before the cops finally came,” even if you had a shitty time and absolutely hated it. I went to a lot of those parties when I was a freshman, and they seemed fun at the time, but that was only because I didn’t know any better.