11:00 A.M.

To: Danielle

From: Scott

Hey there,

Just wanted to let you know, I had a really great time last night. We kicked some serious ass at pong and you were a major freak on the dance floor! Speaking of freaky, hope you were okay with everything that went down later in the evening ;-). By the way, don’t bother asking around about your black North Face, it’s hanging from my bedpost. Lunch sometime?

Scott

11:15 A.M.

To: Danielle

From: Scott

Okay, you must’ve been WAY more drunk than you looked. For one thing, you definitely DO own a black North Face because that’s how we started talking in the first place (I was wearing one too lol). Also, we absolutely did hook up because, let’s face it, my nipples didn’t bite themselves. Quit playing around and come pick up your jacket.

And your virginity.

JK LOL.

Scott

11:30 A.M.

To: Danielle

From: Scott

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. It was completely your idea in the first place! You walked up to me in the basement of Chi Gam and said “So what’s the line on that dick?” I wittly responded “Well it was three…but I can bump a few off and put you on next.” Then we shared some laughs, some pizza, and later some sex. I have it on video – hidden camera in my closet. I’m checking it right now.

Scott

11:35 A.M.

To: Danielle

From: Scott

Shit.

So, it turns out I imagined all of that – I’m really sorry. The video is actually just a tape of me masturbating. This is really awkward…

See you in Econ tomorrow!

Scott

11:36 A.M.

To: Danielle

From: Scott

God, I’m so alone