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| I'm not a writer; I'm an accountant. However, I do believe in experiencing what you write about.
There are exceptions to every rule, though. Although I haven't experienced such a horror as a 'reputation' (gasp!), countless people have. There are the generic definitions: the sluts, the manwhores, the geeks. But then there are the more inventive and creative nicknames. These reps are the reasons people create lists of people they want to kill. These are their stories. And they're all true. "Wait, weren't those pants a different shade of brown before?" At a small college, it's kind of like you're back at high school. The rumors spread like wildfire. And unfortunately, when you're a freshman and alcohol is readily available, discretion really isn't the name of the game. So a young girl gets completely and absolutely loaded at a house party. Not all that uncommon. Neither is a locked bathroom door. But when someone bangs and bangs on the door for a good five minutes and no one answers, that's somewhat a cause for alarm. So two big, burly guys fight the door for so long that it gives up and opens, and what do we see? This same young girl, completely covered in puke with only her top on. However, puke wasn't the only thing she was wearing. Poop. Yep. Her own feces. Heaven knows how she got it all over herself, but somehow she managed. The kicker is that she said, after having been passed out for quite a while, "Guuuuuuuuys, go away, I need to wipe...". And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you earn yourself the nickname "Poopy Pants" for the next four years of your life. Let's hope she escaped it after college. Just a Whisper More than a Slut If you have a weird little quirk about you, chances are that people know about it before they actually know you. And if that weird little quirk is in the bedroom, there's probably no hope for you anymore. People just KNOW if you like it in the butt, even if you've only tried it once. Same goes for wanting to be tied up. But if your quirk is even weirder? When I first heard about this girl, it was through a friend from work. I was young, and Urban Dictionary didn't even exist. He told me about her nickname, and asked me if I knew why she would be called that. I was still confused, but maybe you're smarter than I was. Let's see - her nickname was Q-Tip. I struggled with that one for a long time, until he gave me a lovely piece of information. He said, "While she's having sex, she has one request. She still wants them to cum in her, just not the hole we'd all think of." Now, why would someone need a Q-Tip for anything other than... Well, I hope you understand. And what the fuck?? What Pretty Eyes You Have Again, I'm only too fortunate to have heard these stories and not actually have lived through them. But we all know these guys. These are the pranksters that throw a bottle of Tide off your closet every time they leave just to piss you off, or the guys that rip off every piece of paper in hall when they're drunk. They think they're rip-roaring hilarious, when sometimes you just want to smack them. Take an example all the way from Ohio. A prank war ensued between a pair of girls and a pair of boys. It started with jelly on the door knobs, but escalated pretty fast. Soon, it was the boys' turn to attack. They managed, unbeknownst to the girls, to sneak into the girls' room and hide an item. This is the conversation that occurred afterwards. Girl One (walking into the room a few days after the sneak attack with Girl Two and Boys One and Two): "Umm, it smells REALLY bad in here. What happened?" Boys One and Two: stupid boy giggles Girl Two: "It smells exactly like poop. There's no way you hid that in here - did you?" Boy One: "Well... yes. But we're not going to take it out until you leave." Girls One and Two adamantly refuse to leave their room until they discover the location of the horrific smell. Imagine their surprise when Boys One and Two go over to the vent and take out an open Ziploc bag of shit. After spraying the room thoroughly with air fresheners for a good hour, the smell is mostly gone and the girls agree to call a truce. A good night's sleep should help smooth things over, right? Not unless you enjoy waking up to a condition known as conjunctivitis, more commonly referred to as pink-eye. As Girls One and Two slept, before noticing the poop smell, the vent stirred up particles of the excretion and carried them throughout the room, right into the unsuspecting girls' eyes. There's not really a good name for these guys, other than "The Dicks Who Gave Everyone Pink-Eye." Needless to say, the prank war was over after that. You've all heard them. The stories that make you cringe, yet at the same time praise the gods that it wasn't you. These reputations are undoubtedly deserved, but it still doesn't make it any less painful for the lucky people that call these stories their own. So unless you want me writing a story about you or your friend's unfortunate incident, I'd suggest keeping it to yourself (or preventing it altogether). Happily, I can't say anything to this extent has ever happened to me - but then again, it's only the middle of freshman year. No prank wars for me... |