Hello TCM nation and welcome to the third installment of TheCollegeMan Presents… in College. This time around we have super-diva Megan Fox here to talk about random bullshit while we just sit here and stare at her tits. It’ll be both informative and arousing. Can’t get much better than that! Enjoy, loyal readers.

TCM: Hello Megan Fox and welcome to TheCollegeMan Presents… in College! You look stunning.

MF: Thank you, CollegeMan. It’s so nice to be here. I love your website, especially your section on politics.

TCM: Uh, right. Do we even have a political column?  Doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that you are hot as hell.  So let’s get started. You’re breakout movie was definitely Transformers, but tell me about other roles you have played in the past.

MF: Well I was in a movie called Whore where I played a character named Lost. I was in Bad Boys II as an uncredited slut wearing a bikini that dances under a waterfall. Oh and I was a slutty high school girl named Carla in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.

TCM: Oh yes sorry, just staring at your tits. So basically your entire career up until Transformers was just you being a hot chick in the background who had no lines and added nothing to the movie besides ass?

TCM: I bet you really had to dig deep inside yourself to fill those roles.

TCM: Yeah. You know, if you want to try and force me into having sex with you like Gaga did, we could save a lot of time and just do it now. What do you say?

MF: No. Gaga’s a whore. Besides, I couldn’t handle 46 inches anyway. Have you heard about that story with her and the 2-liter Coke bottle?

TCM: I’ll pass. So, you’ve come under heat recently because of your comments regarding Transformers and Michael Bay.

MF: Yeah, well, I speak my mind. I’m an opinionated person and if you don’t like it you can suck my vag. It’s like that one time I said Megatron could “just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America" – ACTUAL MEGAN FOX QUOTE

TCM: Well, many claim that you should be happy for your role in Transformers, seeing as your only other credits include Whore and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.

MF: People can say whatever the fuck they want. I’m a great actress and one day I’m going to win an Oscar. Bay needs a sex symbol and so he pimps me out for his Transformers nerd-fans… are you laughing?

TCM: (Through broken laughter) Look, Megan, I’m sorry, but an Oscar? Come on. Be realistic. You have a better chance ending up on Tila Tequila than winning an Oscar.

TCM: Male pig? First of all, The College Man is an upstanding character of unwavering moral fortitude. I apologize for my insincerity but you’re way too hot to win an Oscar.

TCM: No, you don’t get it. The girls that win Oscars aren’t as hot as you. They’re attractive sure, but Megan Fox hot? No, I don’t think so. No one can take you seriously.

TCM: No wells, you’re destined to walk the earth plagued by your own immeasurable attractiveness. Cursed like Cain to walk with demons, you’ll indefinitely end up trying to buy booze from a 35-year old high school dropout who won’t even take you seriously.

MF: All I ever wanted to do was be taken seriously. I scored a perfect 36 on my ACT and did neurological research at Harvard when I was eleven but then puberty hit and since then it’s always “Megan you’re so hot,” and, “Wow! I wonder what she looks like naked?” I just want to be ugly!

And so through cunning interview skills The College Man proceeded to make love to Megan Fox, a lot, and was able to avoid reopening the scars on his back from his last interview with Gaga.




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